Photo copyright: Madison Woods
Emanating from the crackling fire the smell of trout penetrated the air.
Jason finished his third beer, “Henry, I’m so sorry.”
“About what?”
Unable to meet Henry’s eyes, “Hope and I are in love.”
“How long?”
“Three months.”
Henry palmed the filet knife. “You’ve been screwing my wife for months and now you’re sorry!”
“We never meant to hurt you.”
In an upward arc the knife permeated Jason’s chest. Henry’s face became pale. “What did I do?”
Jason doubled over in a coughing fit a sucking sound coming from the wound.
With his final breath Jason said, “I forgive you.”
Henry, James, Jason … are there three people there, or are James / Jason the same person?
Sorry typos were fixed. Thanks for brining it to my attention.
I don’t think I would be so forgiving!
I know I wouldn’t be!
Penetrated, rather than permeated?
Strongly described, well done. 😆
Thanks, I’m sure I would have differnt words for him.
Sometimes guilt wins over common sense. I would have said something different.
Forgiving is a virtue. I’m confused. How many characters are here?
The character is Jason. Sorry for the mistake.
Solid for a short piece.
Repetition of permeated seemed awkward in such a short drop, but you stuck to the theme.
Thanks, never noticed I used the word twice. I appreciate you brining it to my attention.
When you have a bad conscience it might seem fit to forgive.. but generally I would not admit infidelity to a guy with a fillet knife handy…
Thanks, I agree the timing was not ideal.
Dear Cole, Maybe he didn’t have his glasses on – otherwise, why would he confess to the husband of the affair while he was holding a filet knife – kind of stupid – no, not kind of – it is stupid. Hope lives, I hope! Good story and well done! Nan 🙂
Not an evening either guy would want to repeat (even if Jason had the chance!)
I wasn’t expecting campfire murder from this prompt, but that just goes to show the diversity the Fictioneers gang’s imaginations have. 😉
Thanks, the best part is the diversity on the prompt.
Thanks, the best part is the diversity on the prompts.
That’s more forgiving than most of us would be. Not very good timing on Jason’s part, seeing as his friend had a knife.
I would switch “penetrating” and “permeating.” The latter doesn’t work where it is, but both would work if you switched them.
janet
Thanks, glad you enjoyed the piece.
What bad luck! Nice piece.
He should’ve waited until he was unarmed.
Cole, The three beers no doubt had something to do with the unfortunate confession. Up to that point, he probably felt guilty, but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. Now he’s dead, and his friend will go to jail. Well written with good description. —Susan
Thanks, just more proof alcohol should be avoided.
Dear Cole,
Hm. I sit here wondering who should be forgiving whom. 😉 Tough call. Stiff penalty that’s for sure.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Sometimes, a moment of rage brings a lifetime of regret.
Rochelle said it – Who’s should forgive? Who should be forgiven? Well done.
Thanks, glad you liked it.
And now both are Hope-less (sorry couldn’t resist). Bad timing in confessing to the guy with a knife.
Thanks,
I liked the hopeless comment.